My first post on this blog was about dreams, how vivid they can be for me, and how I use them for inspiration for my many stories. But that goes the other way also. When I have a nightmare it is jut a detailed and just a vivid as its milder counterpart… but it’s ten times as scary. My partner is of the mind that at 27 I’m too old to be having nightmares… I say you’re never too old to be afraid of something terrifying.
Last night I had the horrible pleasure of having one of my rare nightmares. In it my partner was away (as he is now) and a great hulk of a man took an interest in me. Then I saw something I shouldn’t’ve which lead him to simultaneously stalk and desire me, and want me dead. Let me tell you, it was terrifying. Everywhere I went he would find me, even at the hospital where, for some reason, they allowed me to pretend I was a burn victim and wrapped my face in bandages. He just waited me out. Now this wasn’t anyone I knew in real life, and I that didn’t change how my subconscious mind made me feel, how the stalking was exhausting and terrifying. How I was never quite able to relax in the dream I was in a constant state of wariness wherever I went because I knew it wasn’t a matter of if but when. I never realised how exhausting it would all be. [I am going to use that..] What made this dream so terrifying (enough to wake me up and cause me to pull the covers tight around my shoulders) is that this bullsh*t happens daily to both men and women alike. That out there, are men and women who fundamentally cannot take no for an answer. Who think such behaviour is normal and that scares me more than my dream ever could.
So in true writer fashion, I’m going to take the terror I felt and put it into my writing. This goes back to my reality post about using things that happen to you and how they make you feel in your writing so that you can ground your words in the readers mind with accuracy. For some reason, writing this sort of stuff down takes that edge off the fear for me. It reminds me of the control I have over my own emotions and the control I am able to exert over my writing. So I want to apologise in advance to whichever one of my characters I subject to this fear….
If you have a scary scene that you want to add to your WIP, take a deep breath and think of what you fear. Deep down in your core – what terrifies you? Now write about it.